The Misadventures of the Traveling Idiots
by FlightlessBird1122
Summary: Me and my friends have been sent to gather materials for another stupid war,so now we have to travel to different worlds to get them. But traveling with a goth kid with a mustache complex & a girl who never shuts up isn't as much fun as it seems... HIATUS
1. Prolouge

**A/N-This is my first story! Me and applepieyum3 wrote this together and it took forever! Thanks for clicking on it!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anyone or anything in this series but me, myself and I.**

Ravenn 

A loud yawn escaped my mouth. It was waaay too early for this. I checked the time.

7:30

That left me about 30ish minutes to do whatever the heck I wanted. I hate getting up early. The only reason I do it is because otherwise Toby will sneak into my room and draw on my face like last time.

I shuddered.

That permanent marker mustache didn't come off for about a week. And it gave a certain someone the terribly _stupid _idea that mustaches were 'cool'. With all the spare time I have in the mornings I get bored of just wandering around with nothing to do. So instead I train. It may sound boring but hey, a girl's gotta stay in shape right? By now it was habitual to pull on my training clothes, which usually consisted of red capri's and a black and white spaghetti strapped shirt. Then I'd practice whatever, depending on my mood. After I'd get ready for the day and eat breakfast. All before anyone's even thought about getting up.

Except for Pein

He's always up. It gives me the creeps. Even when he's not; one of his little puppet Peins are. I looked around, hoping to find something more pleasant to think about. Finding nothing, I looked down instead.

"Eeew" I said to myself, pushing away the bowl of what used to be cereal. I think that I could safely call my colorful bowl of mush wasted. It was soggy and the multicolored balls had merged together to form one huge ball of mushy preservatives.

"Thump!"

I sighed.

It couldn't be Toby since I still have a good ten minutes left before his internal alarm clock went off. Plus, he was the type of person that would spend an hour stalking you; just to get a good laugh when he magically pops up and scares you. And Rachel always ran full speed into the kitchen in an attempt to kill off some of her undying energy. Clay on the other hand was very…different to say the least, so it could be him. His personality was all over the place. Plus, he does fall out of bed a lot.

"…….Thump….."

"…..Thump…"

"…Thump.."

I was so lost in my own thoughts that I had barely noticed that the heavy footsteps had drawn closer until a loud bang came from the direction of the door. There stood Hidan... and...Rachel?

Rachel

"Wake up." I groaned

"_Wake up." _He said again. I groaned louder. Well I guess he didn't really have patience because I found myself on the floor.

"No! The warmth! I had my perfect little cocoon of blankets and warmth! You DESTROYED it!!" I started complaining. Hidan picked me up, still in my pj's.

"You are my apprentice you should at least wake up when I tell you to." He started complaining. "Well you never wake up in time for Pein's little lectures!" I complained back. It became like a battle of complaints and argues. We have these a lot. Though most of the time we were just bored and playing around. But this time I was really tired. Not in the mood. I groaned some more and jumped back in my bed, hiding myself in the wonderful still-warm blankets. I fell asleep. Like in 5 seconds. Yeah I'm good at that.

"You've got to be kidding." Groaned Hidan. I murmured, still in my dream land. I think Hidan picked me up, because it got a lot colder, really fast. And I could kind of smell that weird jell stuff he puts in his hair, and it was right in my face. We had left my room, and were heading for what I think was the kitchen, but I didn't care because it was really _really _cold now. Why does he have to do this so early in the morning? We banged through the kitchen door, and I noticed how pissed off he seemed. I thought he was just playing around, until all the people in the room started to scurry out.

'This must be important.'

In a few more steps, he laid my down on the couch (yes we have a couch in the kitchen, actually several) I scrunched up to begin my warming process, when he plopped down beside me, his head hung in his hands.

Now something was _definitely_ wrong.

My sensei was usually prowling around the room complaining about not being able to do something, or boasting about what he did do. Seeing him so upset is like seeing an emo kid laughing with puppies on his lap, wearing a rainbow shirt. He sighed, the kind of sigh you do when you really don't want to be doing what you're about to do. Oh great.

"What is it?" I asked, my eyes squinting in suspicion.

"You're going to go on a mission…." He started. Okay, this was really weird. Normally he gets all proud when Pein assigns us a special mission. So what's the sudden change in mood?

"A lot farther and a lot longer than you have ever before…" he began again. So what? I've been miles and miles away from our bases, it doesn't matter, as long as you come back. Wait! Does this mean I'm not coming back again..? I started panting while Hidan was in mid sentence, going on about something I had successfully tuned out. He looked up at me with a 'what the hell are you doing now?' look.

"Sorry. Continue." I said shakily.

"Anyways, as I was saying, you're going to be gone for a while, so I want you to have this while you're gone…." He said, holding out a silver necklace in his hand. Wait. Was this his Jashin necklace?! His most prized possession!!!!???? He was giving it …TO ME!!??? Man, I think I even started to cry (tears of joy of course) as he put it around my neck. This was so awesome. I always liked his necklace, even when I was little; I used to steal it from him. That never ended in my favor.

But now he was GIVING it to me!? :D! No stealing or yelling involved?

While I was off in my happy land (I have many lands, such as: dream land, bored land, sleepy land, happy land, sad land, and freaking gonna whoop your ass later when you least expect it land) I think he chuckled or cried or something, but I was too caught up in the amazement of the necklace to care about him.

Which is kind of sad.

He got up from his couch, still grumpy. You know, I think that was really hard for him or something, because he had _that_ look on his face. Like the look he got when he had to baby-sit all 3 of us on Toby's day last Saturday night. But then why now?…am I really going away… forever!?

Clay

I woke up. On the floor. _Again._ Sometimes I wonder how I get down there without feeling it or getting any bruises. I pushed myself up, flattening down my short black hair. I pulled on a black t-shirt and fixed the covers on my bed. Why do I even need a bed, since I always fall off? My legs were still sore from yesterday. Running away from a murderous Ravenn and Rachel tends to do that to you. Apparently, stealing their only clothes after they went into the hot springs was _NOT_ okay.

I pulled on the rest of my black attire and then adjusted my fake mustache. Sure some people look at me funny (Especially Ravenn) but it made me feel complete. It was black after all. I came out of my room and headed towards the kitchen. But along the way I heard

_Step_

_Step_

_Step_

I hid behind a wall, sliding like a secret agent towards the noise down the hall. I saw Hidan, with Rachel draped over his back. Was she finally dead? No. Her back was rising and falling in time with her breaths. She was sleeping.

_Step_

_Step_

_Step_

I began to say my last words.

_Step_

_Step _

_Step_

He was right behind me now; I was sure. I felt a small breeze as he…walked past me? I looked up to see Hidan's back moving further away from me. Then they burst through the kitchen door; a pissed Hidan greeting its inhabitants.

Ravenn 

What the heck was going on here? Did something happen to Rachel? And why was she draped across Hidan's back like a doll? Was she hurt? Hidan did look pretty upset. No. she seemed fine. But if no that then what was wrong? "wha-" was all I got out before I was looked at with a glare that could freeze over Hades. I hadn't notices all the noise from the people that had accumulated in the spacious kitchen until it went silent. Then slowly everyone (meaning Deidara, Kisame, and I) unfroze and scrambled towards the door. No way was I goanna get killed today!

I ran for my life down the hall with my cloaked friends, eating my dust, until I felt a dark depressed aura. Curious, I dropped and crept closer to it, army style, and looked around the wall. There I saw a guy wearing all black sitting in the fetal position with a blank look on his face. I crawled up to him until I was right behind him. I've always wanted to do this. I thought before tapping him. "Boo"

"DON'T KILL MEE!" he yelled before cowering away from me in fright.

_Blink _

_Blink_

_Blink _

I stood up and brushed the dirt of my clothes. "Uh…hi?" I asked unsurely since he seemed kind of confused. At that he looked up and a light flickered on in my head.

"Ravenn?"

"Mustache Guy!! Hi! It's been a while." Ever since I met him when we were young I took great pleasure in teasing him. His reactions were just _so_ funny! So it was just too good to pass up when he began wearing that fake mustache around after I had dared Rachel to tell him it looked 'cool'. Now he wears it every day. Which is fine with me since it brings with it so many wonderful teasing opportunities! He was beginning to uncurl from his ball now, and regained his signature glare.

"It's Clay, gosh! How many times do I have to tell you?'

"I know your name. It's a _nickname. _'Gosh! How many times do I have to tell you!?" I mimicked.

Rachel

Hidan got up, and moved to the door. I clutched my new necklace, and thought. Was something serious going to happen? Was he leavening the Akatsuki? No. Maybe… I was the one leaving. He opened the door, and a sound wave of talking people hit me before they all quieted down, once they noticed that a Hidan was there. He stomped out of the room.

I was still staring off into space, when everyone came in. They sat around the table, some people finishing their breakfast, some just starting. I moved to the door, and peered out. Hidan was gone. The rocky ceilings, floors, and walls seemed even gloomier than normal. "Rachel? Are you okay, un?" asked Deidara who was making oatmeal.

"Yeah, I'm just fine. In fact, I'm going to go take a shower." I said. I started walking out. Nobody stopped me.

I got to my room then opened my door (Deidara painted a flower on it, so I always know which one) I stepped inside, and looked around. It seemed a little duller than it used to be; like it was void of the colors that usually brightened it. I went to the shower and turned it on high. After I stepped in, warm water ran over me. But it didn't fix the emptiness inside. After a few minutes I stepped out and got dressed. I put my skull shirt on, my new necklace, and black and white cuffed shorts before buttoning my long coat that makes it seem like I'm wearing a dress from behind. After, I sat down to slip on my white ninja sandals.

I sighed. There was this nagging feeling that this was going to be the last time I see this room for a while. I looked around sadly. Then I spotted a white object on my desk. A faint smile graced my cheeks. "Can't leave without you." I said, picking up a pure white flower from atop my nightstand. I placed it in my hair, like I did every day, as I walked towards my door.

The room was dark. "Guess this is the last time I'll see you for-"

I stopped to ponder that. Just how long _would_ I be gone?

A week?

A month?

A year?

Would I ever come back!? I hope so. I love this place. The first place I have ever truly been able to call home.

No.

I can't let silly things like this get in my way. "I'll definitely be back."

It was only a whisper but it filled me with determination.

(Still Rachel)

I stepped out of my room. When I had closed the door, a loud noise reached my ears. My poor stomach was practically demanding to be fed! Happy to comply, I hauled myself into the kitchen. My brain noted that Ravenn, Clay, Kisame, and Diedara were also in the room but I was so hungry that I didn't even notice.

A red apple.

Sweet. Delicious. I could taste it before it hit my mouth. 'Everything I expected it to be.' I thought happily.

I plopped down next to Ravenn and Kisame. (Who I finally acknowledged after eating the whole apple) Now I was munching on a cookie. Ravenn was glaring at a bowl of soggy cereal while Kisame was eating a fish… that was still alive. I turned away. Deidara was _still _staring at me. Clay was…well… being Clay. As I was about to finish my cookie, Kakuzu barged in.

"Rachel, Ravenn, and Clay all need to go to Pein's office"

Ravenn 

Well that's just great.I looked at Rachel, silently asking if she knew what this was about. She shook her head. I turned to Clay and _naturally_ he totally ignored me. How rude!

Clay 

"Bam!"

The door slammed behind Kakuzu. As usual. He really needed to learn how to keep his strength in check. After he left I looked up. Raven and Rachel were looking at each other as if they were sharing some kind of message telepathically. No one ever looks at me, so I just turned away. After a moment, I got up, ready to leave. I just want to get this over with. It'll probably just be another mission like always. Is what I'd love to think, but my gut was telling me that it wasn't. I just couldn't quite peg what it was. Everyone was acting strange this morning so it had to be pretty serious. Even Zetsu was more aloof than usual.

I sighed.

This was going to be a long day. "Let's go," I said quietly. They got up in silent agreement. We walked sluggishly through the halls as if we were unconsciously delaying our trip to Pein's office. Which we were, but none of us were about to admit to that. What's the worst that can happen anyways? We get sent off somewhere? That's not so bad. I'd just be back at square one. No big deal. Right? While my internal dilemma was somewhat squandered, I took the chance to pick up the pace so we could be done with this already.

"Come on! I have stuff to do today and I don't want to waste all my time walking to Pein's office!"

Rachel 

We started walking faster. Soon we came to a huge door.

"Is it just me or does the door to Pein's office seem bigger than usual?" Ravenn looked at me kinda funny and Clay just rolled his eyes and opened the door. I really didn't want to go in there. I stared into the place that was the leader of the Akatsuki's office.

"Eep!"

A hand wound around my wrist and began to pull me towards the inside of the room.

"Don't be such a baby," Ravenn said. "Nothing bad is gonna happen to us." Even though I could feel the unease radiating off of her, it still comforted me enough to allow her to lead me into the room. The doors closed behind us as we entered. For a moment none of us uttered a sound. When I was sure I'd go crazy from anxiety someone spoke.

"Kakuzu told us that you wanted to see us." It was Clay. A deep voice, mysterious but still full of authority answered.

"Yes. I have a mission like no other for the three of you." Pein stepped out from who knows where and looked at us as if he were thinking about how to word the speech that was soon to come. Of course, with him you can never truly tell.

Like I said, mysterious.

"In our new plan to rule all of the five ninja nations (Plans 1-16 were all epic failures) we will be needing some…supplies from other dimensions. My jaw dropped. How in _hell _are we supposed to get those! I looked at my friends. They looked as shocked as I was. He began to approach us. As he got closer he turned toward me and handed me a weird-faced backpack. It had black button eyed and a zipper for it's creepy ass smile. After I finished examining the new…handbag…I looked back up at him. "In there is the list of things you need to gather." Then he looked at me, "Push it's right eye."

I was surprised to find that the eye really was a button. I pushed it.

Then I pushed it again.

And again.

What was up with this thing anyway!? It doesn't do anything. A soft whooshing sound started to make itself known. It got louder and louder. Where was it coming from anyway? I glanced around, searching for the source of the noise. Nothing. Then I looked down and noticed there was a huge ass black hole thing emerging from the bag.

"What the-"was all I got out before being sucked into the dark void.

**A/N- So how was it!? If you read this far thanks for reading it makes me happy to know that I didn't just waste my time on this. Sorry we haven't updated yet. Rachel's pretty much done but i've been working on stories with higher demand. So if you want this updated(the next chapter is Hyrule-Zelda) then please review or Pm one of us :)**


	2. Hyrule

Hyrule

Oohhh my head hurt. No not just my head, my stomach….. It felt like someone punched me right in the gut… or maybe I fell on something?

My head was still swimming in the darkness, when I heard something right under me. Right beneath my… stomach?

Yeah. I could hear it now… sort of a nagging voice, complaining….. About what? Err… it was kind of getting annoying. Slowly, I could see a little bit of light. Boy was it bright out. What was that I smelled.... sea water? When did I get near the ocean? I could hear it now, waves. I could feel the light on my neck and back. So I was facing down, huh? Where was I? The most I could remember was… going into that room.

That dark and scary room… Pein. That was it, Pein's office, with his smart ass tone of voice, and that Konan lady always staring at me like well like I was just a nuisance. Well I could be, especially in the eyes of Kakuzu. Heh he liked me; just didn't want to be soft enough to show it. But whenever no one was around, he would help me with my chores… good o' Kakuzu. Wait what was I thinking of again?

I could feel something pressing up on my stomach. My body was hanging over whatever it was. Man did it hurt; it must have hit me hard. But what was it? The sea water, the waves…. The slight rocking of the boat?

So I was on a boat. The light still hurt, but I could make out the water right under me. Must be a small boat. I think I was on the mast…but was this mast talking??!!

I lifted my head, squinting in the light. Yep, I was draped over this mast's head like thing, and all I could see was ocean. Everywhere. My cloak was waving around, from the wind. Boy was it strong. I turned my head to the left, more oceans. My neck cracked as I swung it to the right. Man did I get a kick out of that.

There was a small boy, maybe 12, staring back at me with big freaked-out eyes. He was in the corner, not moving. "Who-" I began but I was cut off by a sudden jerking under me. It was like the mast of the small boat was trying to…shake me off.

"What is on me?!" it asked. I must be dreaming. The closet thing I came to something weird talking was dogs and cats. But was this boat talking?

He started to shake me off, and it was working. My body was tired, and didn't really move. I could feel the big bruise hurting on my stomach as he shook. Slowly, I slid off, face first down to the water.

**SPLASH!**

Cold water surrounded me, and I was staring at hazed shades of blue and gray. Cold water engulfed me, a sudden rush; I'll drown soon if I don't get out, or form gills. But I was dreaming, so who cared?

In fact, in all my dreams, I could breathe under water, so why not now?

I sucked in a big breath, but I was wrong. Salty sea water ran up my nose and attacked my through and lungs. Woops guess I wasn't in a dream after all… Desperately, I flailed my arms. But with my heavy boots and clothes, let alone that I already had water filled to capacity in my lungs, I was sinking. Shit.

Time for plan B

I can swim don't get me wrong. It's just that landing on that boat hit a few pressure points, let alone passing out and well, how would you feel being sucked into another dimension huh!?

But when I am in a tight spot, I summon stuff. It's my specialty, and probably one of the reasons that the Akatsuki let me join. They didn't want just any old person of the street. (Which makes me wonder how Clay got in…)

I can summon a wide variety of things. Although my summoning is great, I suck at Genjutsu. My Taijustu is also really good and have good stamina, which is necessary to summon stuff.

I got my hand signs ready, and tried to build up chakra. Only it wouldn't come. It was like I had no chakra, but if that was true I would be dead.

I tried it anyways, but only a small poof of smoke appeared, and then simply disappeared in the shifting waters. Shit. Now I was in trouble.

With no chakra, my lungs filled with salty water and my heavy clothes making me sink. I quickly parted with my long cloak and beautiful camellia flower. I was in big trouble. So much for plan B. Looks like I am going to drown. Ahh, I guess it's my time though; but to die from a random talking boat shaking me into water…weird. At least it's something better than Toby stabbing me or something because I knew he was on the loopy side. You had to watch out when it came to good ol' Toby.

Especially with knifes.

To heck went my sappy story when two little arms reached down, and started hoisting my up. Light filtered into my vision, and I coughed up water. He almost dropped me again, but the mast thingy helped push up my butt with its creepy head.

Their I lie, ever so gracefully, soaking wet, drooling mouth and all, with the slight scent of sea salt.

"What…what happened?" I asked, closing my eyes.

"I think you should be the one talking young miss. Appearing out of nowhere and landing on my head. You should say sorry at least!" nagged the boat.

"What the hell are you talking about? What kind of boat are you!? You can freaking _talk _and you say to explain MYSELF?" I yelled at the boat, with my eyes still closed. It was somewhere, I didn't exactly care where.

"Wait!" I screamed right as the Thing opened its mouth. "What about Ravenn? And Clay? Did you see anymore people!? Crap! Clay can't swim for shit!" I started yelling. What a day.

Ravenn

"AHHH!" I screamed.  
One minute I was in Pein's dark room and the next I was falling through the sky into a seemingly endless ocean.  
SPLASH!  
The breath was knocked out of me. Don't go thinking 'Oh she's so wimpy, she can't even swim after falling a few feet' cause I can. If not for the fact that those few feet were actually a few hundred feet I'd be fine right now. But it wasn't, so now I'm plunging into the dark depths of the ocean.  
Lucky me.  
I guess my instincts kicked in or something cause suddenly I was at the surface, gulping for air. I looked around.

Blue...for miles.  
That was all I could see. It was just my luck to land in the middle of the ocean after being teleported to some unknown universe in the middle of freakin' nowhere! Ahh, sweet venting. You should try it sometime. It really helps.

Might as well start swimming.

So I swam and swam.  
After a good hour (guess all that training paid off) I was starting to lose hope of ever finding an island, let alone civilization when I saw a blurry shape in the distance.  
As I got closer I realized that it wasn't an island (damn) but a weird...fishing ...boat? I approached it carefully. Wouldn't you? I mean, what type of person comes out to the middle of the ocean to fish?  
Crazy ones. That's who.  
The closer I got the clearer the grey blobs ,that in my boredom had come to be known as Jeff, Thing 1, Thing 2 ,and Michelangelo III ( I'm not very creative get over it) became. After a long while of swimming, I realized that each of them wore a large scuba diving helmet that hid their faces and underwear. Short...Speedo...underwear. It looked so...ugh. Look away Ravenn. Look away.  
I forced my eyes away from their lower regions and then noticed their tanned chests. They must come out here often. The boat itself was very small. Each of the twins (as I was now calling them) stood in a single file line. On the makeshift boat there were 4 people. Mikey aka Michelangelo III was my favorite.

Don't get me wrong.

He looked no different than the others, brown Speedos and all. It wasn't what he wore that caused me to favor him but where he stood. Mikey stood between Thing 1 and  
Thing 2. Perfectly symmetrical. Some people liked basketball, some liked beating others up, well I liked symmetry.

I wasn't obsessed with it or anything. I just liked for things to make sense. Take waking up for example. I would never _EVER_ wake up at 7:47. _Ever_. It just doesn't make sense. Why wake up at such an f'd up time? I'd rather wake up at a better time like 7:45. Even though it isn't perfectly symmetrical, it still makes better sense than 7:47. Speaking of making better sense, I just can't see why anyone would be out here!

_I_ don't even want to be out here. At least it was sunny.

Rather than dwelling on the weirdness of the people _on_ the boat I took a closer look at the boat itself.

The brown fishing vessel was very slim. It had the bare necessities, maybe even less. At the helm of the boat stood Jeff. He, like the others wore a large scuba helmet. It had a small pane of glass on the front that was impossible to see through. Well, maybe if I got closer, but I couldn't tell from here. Jeff was taller than the others and probably older since he was at the steering wheel, apart from the shorties. Separating Jeff from the kids was a large bulky fishing thing that took up a good 80 percent of the boat. It was really big and had a thick rope looped around it a bunch of times. It looked like your ordinary fish hook on steroids until you got to where the hook should have been. The…um… hook hung from a long piece of wood that jutted out from the top of its oversized middle.

Only, instead of a hook there was a rusty old claw thingy. It didn't _look_ like it could catch a fish any better than Clay could. And he can't even swim. The old claw looked more like it would be used for picking up treasure or something, but who does that anymore? Everyone knows that there aren't any riches under the sea. Even if there was, the pirates would have gotten it by now, and we _all_ know how real _they_ are.

Sadly, I was actually thinking of hitching a ride with people like this. By now I didn't care if they were mass murderers. I'd still get in with them. All I cared about was getting out of this water. Heck! Technically I hang out with people worse than that every day. The only way I wouldn't get in is if they were singing. It's my only weakness. Horrible singers.

I know it sounds stupid but whenever I am forced to listen to Rachel and Hidan sing on karaoke night I literally consider committing suicide. I'm a weapons specialist. I could do it. And if I have to listen to them sing _one_ more time, they will be silenced. Whether by me or of their own free will it _WILL_ happen. Probably by me since it's just sooo much more fun that way.

So close. They can probably see me by now.

"Hey! Heeeeeey!!!" I called to them and as I began to approach the dingy boat.

What came next though almost made me turn around and go look for some other weird scuba people to hitch a ride with.

All of the scuba kids turned toward me at the same time. Like, the _exact _same time. And that's not even the worst of it. After they did their weird turning thing they all pointed.

Yes. You heard me right. Pointed.

And not the regular type of pointing where you use your hand. Oh no, that wasn't weird enough for them. The three of them used their whole arm to do it. Straight and stiff as a board.

And the _stare!_

It was just so creepy! Their eyes were wide open, and not once did they blink. Maybe if I keep moving they'll stop.

WRONG! Rather than stopping they followed me. Pointed fingers and all. As I moved left, so did their fingers. Slowly, I made my way to their boat, and not once did any of them blink. Mikey, Thing 1, and Thing 2 each watched me like a hawk.

Ehh. So weird. Why was I the one that had to land here? Why couldn't Rachel? She loved stuff like this. Or Clay. Better him than me.

I closed my eyes. Looking at them was going to give me nightmares for weeks. I could imagine it now. Getting flashes of Clay in spandex underwear. Toby, Hidan, and Diedara singing '_A Pirate's Life for Me'_ off key while wearing scuba diving helmets.

A chill went down my spine at the thought of it.

"Psssst!"

I looked around. The twins were no longer pointing at me. Thank whatever God there is out there. All of them were facing towards the front of the boat, so I did the same.

There was Jeff. He was looking at me intently, as if he wanted to tell me something but couldn't.

"Psssst!" He whispered a bit louder this time. I swam closer. If only to stop the annoying pssssst-ing.

As soon as I was in earshot he started that irritating whispering again. "Hey Bub! If you know anything about the legendary golden treasure," he paused. Now Jeff was bending down, his hand by his helmet covered mouth in a sad attempt to make him sound louder than the ever crashing waves, "Those Triumph Forks thingies…Be sure to tell me."

I looked at him like he was crazy. What in the five ninja nations was a Triumph Fork? I knew from experience that nothing can be done with a fork. Accept eat. Which made them worth it. Sporks, on the other hand were unsymmetrical pieces of trash. They were almost as bad as ocarinas. Were they shells? Flutes? I don't really know but they bug the hell out of me. Why couldn't they put two blowing holes?

A light bulb appeared above my head. Or maybe that was just my imagination. Either way I had an idea.

"And keep this a well guarded secret, Bub" he finished.

I resisted giving him the famous 'Are you stupid?' look and instead opened my mouth to talk. Only I never got the chance to since as soon as he finished the annoying munchkins put their fingers to their mouth and shhhh'd. Wow…just wow.

I'd expected something like this though and kept right on talking. "I know how to get to the nearest tri-fork thingy." I said kinda quietly. Apparently it wasn't quiet enough though cause halfway through I was greeted by a chorus of 'shhhs.'_  
_

Jeff had heard me though and leaned in closer. Five dollars he falls into the water. "Really! Tell me where!" Eew. Rude much. If it wasn't a lie in the first place I definitely wouldn't be telling him.

"Well, I need a map to look at so I know what direction you need to go." He hurriedly shoved a map in my face. I lost my balance and sank under the water. When I surfaced he was looking at me expectantly. Totally unaffected by the fact that he had just dunked me under the water.

"Well?" I glared at him before skillfully holding the map above my soaking wet head and examined it. I didn't really give a crap about where we went so I just picked the first one I saw, completely ignoring the two glowing dots on the map near the dice shaped island.

"It's near Tingle Island so you have to head southeast from here."

"_Right!_" That was growing old really quick. I sighed before climbing onto the front of the boat, my feet dangling off the edge. Then the crappy excuse for a boat actually started _moving!_ I don't know how they did it but soon we were heading full speed ahead towards Tingle Island. Whatever that was.

At least I was getting dry.

Clay

My eyes felt like they were going to pop right out of their sockets. Well let me explain. So here I am, falling face first, into what seems like a giant flock of sea gulls. What were sea gulls doing in the middle of the ocean, you ask? I sure as hell don't know. It's like they were a warning sign or something.

I was about to enter the flock, but no I wasn't screaming. Hidan and Kakuzu are much scarier than this. I really don't know how Rachel can live with them but they are way nicer to her than me. Even Kakuzu has a soft side for her. Ravenn has to deal with that freak Toby... yeeshh. At least I have Zestu who is the better of the creeps.

A lone sea gull was coming up fast, and BAM hit me right in the face. "SQUWWAKKK" it screamed, and then flew awkwardly away.

BAM

BAM

BAM

More sea gulls. With three new cuts I entered the water. I'm not a very dramatic guy but those cuts stung like hell.

Gray hazes formed around me and instinctively my hand went for my moustache. But it _WASN'T THERE_. _This_ is where I get dramatic

Rachel

"WHERE ARE THEY!?" I started screaming, looking randomly at the pure blue ocean. Pein would be really mad if he found out I was lost.

"WOULD YOU TELL US WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT!?" started screaming the bothersome boat. I squinted my eyes, and slowly turned my head, as menacing as I could, to look at the boat. Hidan told me all about looking scary when I was little, and I mastered it at the age of 10

"Y-you don't scare us." said the boat, reeling its head. "Humph." I grunted, staring to take of my heavy boots, the stupid magic bag that got us in this mess, and my jacket. I was left with my black and white cuffed shorts, bare feet, no weapons (I left my kunai bag too) and my black and white skull shirt.

The ocean breeze blew my wet, but still light orange spiky hair in my face. I stood up, making the boat rock, and dived over board.

"What are you doing now!?" yelled the boat, looking at me.

"You're right. Summoning a fish would be stupid." I said, looking at the sky. "what I really need is a sea gull. I could feel my chakra come back; I guess warping takes away all your chakra. I did my routine hand signs, with the boat staring dumbly at me, and down came a measly sea gull.

It landed on the boats head, witch made its eyes squirm trying to look at it. Green Boy was still in slight shock, with his knees tucked in, sitting at the far end of the boat. He's not much of a talker.

I placed my hands together, making them almost clap. Smoke evolved the bird, making it look kind of like one of Deidara's big birds, but with more color.

It jumped in the air, and splashed in the water, swimming like a duck. Now it was Boaty's turn to be in shock.

"What-what was that!?" screamed the boat. The boy was now panting, eyes wide, and one hand on his little sword.

"Calm down. It's just a sea gull." I said, climbing on from the salty water, my bare toes clutching onto the feather for support. It was unusually soft. "Unless you have better ways of finding my friends, then speak up now, or I'm leaving." I stated, looking at the boat then the boy.

"Oh." He uttered, and then pulled out a sea chart. Three spots were glowing, so what did that mean?

"This is us now." said the boat while the boy pointed to one square that had a glowy spot. "And if I'm not wrong, these must be your friends." said the boat, the boy pointing to the two other spots. They were not too far, but I would need that map.

"Alright. You can come with us, since were heading that direction anyways." Said the boat like he was doing a huge favor. But Hidan taught me to just take what I want and not deal with the sappy stuff.

Acting quickly, I grabbed the paper, but the boy was quick to. Guess he liked it or something, cause he unleashed his sword, leaped out of the boat and aimed for my head, I ducked, just as fast, but it cut or the tips of my spiky hair. Wow was it sharp. I jumped back, but the sea gull wasn't that big.

With one foot almost over the edge, and the kid with the deadly blade, I decided not to make too much of a hassle.

"Fine. I was just teasing. Here have it back." I pouted, looking the other way, while thrusting the chart back to the boy.

He gave a cute smile, that I gotta say it made him look really innocent. That had to come in handy.

"Alright. I'll fly on my bird, while you two sail in front." I said, channeling the bird as I raised in the air. The boy nodded, and a sail sprung up from nowhere, (how does that work anyways?) and they were off.

At least it was a start.

* * *

"HOW LONG IS THIS GOING TO TAKE?" I asked for about the millionth time. It wasn't even night time yet. Uggh. And this BOAT! God did It know how to NAGG! No wonder that boy doesn't even talk!

"I've been telling you." Said the boat, just about to scream. "Its going to take only about 10 more minutes to reach the first dot. Didn't your parents ever tell you to be patient!?" it said.

This was my chance to gloat.

"I don't live with my parents." I said with a small smirk. I loved telling people about Hidan. "Oh. Really? I'm sorry I didn't know that." Said the boat a little awkwardly. "I've got people better than parents, so don't be sorry!" I said, cross-legged, head held high in the air and a big grin plastered on my face.

I even hade the boy's attention. (he was staying out of are fight the whole time. In fact, he hadn't even said one word!)

"Me and my friends have the best Sensei in the world." I started, a strange sparkle in my eyes, and a distant look. The boat was looking at me, he was even interested in the strange girl who fell from the sky.

"Mmm. His name is Hidan, my sensei, and- oh I even have a picture!" I said, reaching into my pocket, and pulled out the picture of Hidan, me ridding on his shoulders while we were running a race against Zetsu, (we won!) Kisame had taken it. There are only two copies. Ones with me and the other is with him.

I told the sea gull to come down mentally and we flew right next to the boat, making the boys hat fly off. Luckily he caught it because I wasn't going to get it if it flew overboard!

I handed the boy the picture, who studied it for a while. The smallest smile crossed his lips, and his eyes went soft. Aww!

He showed it to the boat, who just grunted. "What's up with all the blood stains on his shirt?" he said a little suspicious.

Uh-oh. I was never allowed to tell anybody what we really did in the Akatsuki.

"He has a lot off cuts and stuff from intense training. He doesn't really like to wash his clothes all the time so..." I said my eyes darting to the left like every liar does.

Clay

In the water, I was frantically searching for my moustache. What was Ravenn going to think if I lost it!? She was the one to introduce me to it! She would be so disappointed. And that other girl, Rachel, oh man will she make fun of me. She and Hidan act like I'm the dork in their little club. Newsflash, that was them 100 percent.

With all the commotion about the moustache, I didn't notice the whirl pool and the sudden storm clouds that had begun to form around me. But oceans do that. The whirl pool wasn't anything I couldn't swim out of. What was that noise? It sounded like something was coming up out of the… water? And the sea gulls sure were screaming. Like they were screaming to get away.

I turned around and there it was.

The biggest, hugest squid/octopus I have ever seen. It had twelve yellow green eyes that were darting around with flat pupils. Suddenly, they all centered on ME.

If I wasn't so freaked out about the octopus I would have just swam away, this whirl pool wasn't that strong. But yet again, what would you do if you came face to face with one of these freaks?

"HOLY SHI-"I started, before it swallowed me. Great. More blackness. I was still alive, to my surprise. It was holding me in its mouth, with all the saliva covering me. I tried not to think about that.

Wait! Was it getting ready to spit me OUT!? No! Shit! I don't need that! Spitting me out was worse than keeping me in. It was actually pretty cozy in here.

The octopus started flexing its mouth muscles and-

**PULLFFFF**

More flying. Wonderful. And the worst part- I_ didn't get my moustache back!!_

Rachel

"Hey... what's that noise?" I asked. It sounded like a soft whistling. Was something shooting towards me?

"I hear it now." Said the boat, stopping. The boy was looking around in confusion. "hey!" I screamed, pointing at a little figure, coming up fast, shooting through the air. "is that it?" I yelled.

"OH SHIT ITS COMING THIS WAY!" screeched the Boat like a little school girl. Just for a moment, it was so awkward. I looked at him like 'WTF' and the boy did the same, and if that thing had cheeks it would be redder than the cheep paint he had painted on him.

I wasn't paying attention, when the thing ran into me. It was actually a person! Knocked me right off my seagull. And I just got dry.

Ravenn

"DON"T LEAVE ME HERE ALOOOOONE!!!"

They rode off quickly in the other direction. Nooo! This can't be happening. My worst nightmare coming to life. Well not my worst, but very, _very _close. This guy was dancing and singing around me in circles. Something about the Legendary Fairy girl or something. All I know is that I had to get out of here.

F/B: "Oh by the way, I have no idea what a Golden fork is or why you would need it. But thanks for the ride. Let's just see if my friends are here and hurry on to the next island."

Because I turned around I didn't notice the angry glares that had formed on all of their faces. But what I did notice was the ugly green man that had jumped down from the large tree house thing. Well saying ugly was a bit of an understatement. He was absolutely hideous. The little man looked to be about 3" something and was clothed from head to toe in bright green spandex. His legs were small and pointy, and when he walked it was a waddle. Side to side. That's not even the bad part compared to the rest of him. His stomach was much larger than the rest of him. Love handle after love handle. I shuddered. Pop bellies were so not my thing. I don't even want to talk about his flabby chest or chubby arms. Cause all my focus was on his face.

I know it's rude to stare, but if you were me you would too. Shamelessly. He had a small coal black goatee that protruded from his teardrop face. On both of his cheeks were red swirls that (Beware of HEAVY sarcasm) complimented his bright red nose that even Rudolph would laugh at**. **His forehead was shiny and large. My eyes were starting to hurt from looking at it.

After you get past his weird buck teeth and his larger than life eyebrows, the scariest thing was his eyes. The horror movie elf's eyes were half-lidded and looked like crescent moons. They seemed like normal eyes, but if you look closer you'll notice the scary look he's giving you. Like he's going to take a butter knife to your back. I took a step back. Then another. He mirrored my movements.

*Flashback end*

* * *

Rachel

I was walking down that glittery tunnel. If I could describe this place in one word it would be: sparkles.

The whole place was either made of sparkles or a toddler got creative with a couple bottles of glitter. You might wonder how we got to such a place though. Well when a stupid person named **_Clay_** flew into me we both fell onto this weird island. Next thing I knew we were falling down a dark hole and then BAM! Glitterville.

In the middle of the place was a crystal clear pond with floating orbs of light. I thought they were fireflies until I started getting closer. Clay was standing dumbstruck looking and when I stood next to him I could see little people with wings in the orb. But you have to look really close, inches away I mean. I stepped in the pond to get a closer look when

**Poof!!!**

I thought there was a explosion so I grabbed Clay and threw him at it. For protection you know? Whe'll there busy dealing with him I can escape. Not that I can't fight, (I can beat up Toby–sometimes-) but I just don't like it that much. Ravenn is a weapons master, so she obviously is aggressive. The countless cat fights we have make me wince.

Instead of an explosion there was a giant purple lady with four arms and a blue looking dress that floated a few inches of the ground. The dress really made her look like she didn't have any legs, which I was starting to think.

"heheheh!!" she giggled. "Let me help you on your quest young warrior." She giggled I think she was talking to Clay, (who was sitting on his wet butt in the pond, stupefied.) she did a weird posture with her arms, two of them clasped in the air, and two clasped in front of her face. The ones in her face opened to reveal a lily flower. She blew on it, and littered Clay's pale face with it. He sneezed and the freak-lady frowned.

She squinted at Clay and gasped. "You're not the war-"

"_NOW!!" _I screamed summoning a jar big enough to hold her. Clay jumped up, and landed on her, swung around, brought her to the ground, and got her into a choke hold.

I picked up my enormous bottle (about the size of a tractor) and uncorked the lid. I scooped up the Great Fairy, and Clay corked the top.

There was the Fairy, crying her strange purple eyes out and pounding with all four fist on the crystal clear glass.

"Don't break it." I grunted I picked it up (strangly there was no weight difference form before) and started to walk towards the exit.

The same sucking feeling and _pop! _we were back on the surface.

"Did your friend enjoy the fairy-" started the boat then dropped his jaw.

"_YOU CAN'T TAKE THAT!" _He screamed and the boy started coming at us, sword unleased and blood thirsty.

"Get on the bird." Said Clay, stepping in front like some kind of hero.

"But can you even fight??" I asked worriedly, looking at him. He smirked and shoved me on the bird. (the island wasn't that big and the bird was just a couple feet away.

I have never seen Clay fight. Normally Zestu takes him to train privately. And normally, Hidan beats him up without Clay even trying to fight back. But I'll tell you- watching Clay beat up that other boy made my stomach do backflips. There was so much blood at the end, even I had some blood splatter because it just flew so far. Clay climbed on, staining my bird red.

I stared. Mouth agap, I just sat there dumbstruck. "Well go!" he said as if nothing ever happened. I looked at the bloody heap of the Green Boy, now his clothes more red than green, I nudged my bird and we rose steadily into the air.

Clay and I had already discussed about how to get to Ravenn. He memorized about how long one square on the map was, and could calculate how long It would be. All I have to do is make the bird fly north-west.

* * *

Ravenn

I turned back toward the elf man. "Holy Crap! He multiplied!" Now rather than one annoying, out of tune singing elf man there were FOUR. Right then I decided that anything, _anything_was better than this and reached for my weapons pouch. It was me or them and well I don't think anyone would miss them very much sooo…

But when I went to pull out my dagger. Nothing. It couldn't be! It must have fallen out while I was swimming. 'It's okay Ravenn. No big deal. Just use another one to kill them.' I calmed down and tried to grab a different weapon but I only felt air. It was empty. Crap. Using my hands to kill them wasn't in the plan…think……think….AHA!!! Maybe if I kept them talking the horrid singing would end!

"So…why exactly are you singing?" Each of them froze in place and then turned towards me. The extra three elves looked to the green one, not uttering a sound. At least something good came from talking to them.

"We are singing because the Great Fairy Girl has finally appeared! In my life I have only seen _Fairy Boy_ but now girl has come! Joy! We must sing and dance!" With that they went back to their prior activities.

I decided that I didn't have to subject myself to that, and went over to the tower of monsters and began to climb. It was worth it if I could get away from the crazies for a few minutes.

After climbing all the way up the ladder, I walked over to the side of the platform closest to where I'd come from. There I found a small wooden chest that clearly read TINGLE. Curious, I opened it and looked inside. In it was a piece of paper that didn't make any sense to me whatsoever. Deciphering maps? Spray with warm water? Overcharging? Random much.

Next to it was a small telescope that I eagerly picked up. I'd always wanted to use one of these! I put the glass up to my eye and examined the area. Lots and lots of water…who would've guessed? I n the far distance I could see a small blob in the air. Followed by a dark figure on the sea. Maybe it was Rachel!? Or Clay! Either worked for me as long as I got out of this place! This was a world that I definitely never wanted to come back to.

As time passed the flying figure became clearer. It seemed to be a bird carrying a person, meaning that it was unquestionably Rachel. She was the only one I knew weird enough to summon something like that to travel with…

I heard the sound of footsteps behind me, meaning the mutated elves were coming. There was no way I was going to end up in the same situation as earlier so I did the first thing that came to mind… I jumped. Their climbing subsided as they jumped down after me and began to advance.

I was flying as fast as I could to get to Ravenn. I could see her now, surrounded by some weird little elf thingies. Clay was seated on the back of my bird holding on for dear life. The sea gull was at full charge now, flapping hard. The island that Ravenn was on seemed small and had a large totem pool coming from the middle of it. It had these weird ass faces covering every inch of it and they were starting to creep me out.

I could hear something like singing, and Clay looked at me questioningly. I shrugged. The chart on the Green Boy's map said that Ravenn was on that island. My biggest thought was _is she hurt? _Ravenn was nice to hang around with since growing up with scary burly men made you want to scream at times. Ravenn kept me 'girl' company and kept me from freaking out at times. Clay on the other hand was more strange than comforting. He was too reserved and moody. It was like trying go to talk to a girl with serious PMS problems.

Almost there. I had stuffed the great fairy into that weird bag thingy that was on my shoulder and its weight was beginning to hurt my arm. Reaching the shore line, I jumped off of my gull. The ground made my legs feel like jelly. Flying on a bird can really make your legs sore. The red boat was a little farther behind us, not being as fast as my gull, but I was sure if they finally caught up, there would be trouble.

"Hey!!" screamed Ravenn who was trapped in a circle of weird dancing g elves, I ran full charge. " Wha-what are you doing???" she screamed as I ran.

Lets just say that when my foot came in contact with the green elf's face it wasn't pretty. Blood at first, then it was just gone. Out into the distance of the great sea. If you squinted hard you could catch the glimpse of a small figure plummeting into the ocean.

The other elves' outcome was just as bad or even worse. My foot was on the formerly white one's (they all looked red now) back, proclaiming my victory to all. With a blood splattered face, I finally smiled and helped Ravenn up.

She looked a bit confused, but after a moment of silence a loud yell sounded from above us. We looked up. Clay was screaming like the little girl he truly was while falling from the sky. I spotted my gull a few feet away merrily flapping away. Who knew that thing was so smart?

Ravenn wasn't exactly alarmed either. We knew he could easily save himself with his ninjutsu. Clay had a wind element chakra so I figured he'd cushion the ground or something. Which is exactly what he tried to do. Multiple hand signs formed but when he got to the end nothing happened. He was shocked. Oops…must of forgotten about that. Ninja stuff didn't work here.

He plunged face first into the grassy ground. I heard something crack. That had to hurt. We looked at him for all of two seconds before growing bored. He wasn't dying or anything!

"Well, this has been fun but I think it's time to ditch this place…" I said as I spotted the familiar red boat approaching. I removed the bulky bag from my back and went through the same sequence of pushing and waiting. Soon enough a giant vortex erupted from within it, sucking us all in. Again.

A/N- Oh Yeah! The next chappies gonna be soooo cool! REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!


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